One of the hardest things to do as a writer is to let someone else read your work. Maybe that’s a beta reader, an editor, or readers on AO3 – it doesn’t matter what you’ve written; what does is that those words are from your head and heart.

So, when a critique comes in, anything other than glowing praise is going to hurt. However, glowing praise doesn’t do you or your work any good. You have to learn how to handle criticism without making a prat of yourself. How do I do that? I’m glad you asked!

1: Is this the right time?

Before you pitch to this editor or enter that competition, consider where your writing is at and your mental health. Is the work good enough? Are you at a place where a critique is just going to sting and not derail you completely? Do not set yourself up for failure – you can do irreparable damage to your state of mind and/or your career.

2: Let it sit

When I receive an edit or beta read critique, I read through the comments and then immediately close the email. I let myself feel the sting and even have a little sulk about what’s been said. I do not respond and I don’t get on social media to moan about it.

3: Read it critically

Once the urge to yell about the critique has passed, I go back to it and assess each comment. It helps to print it out and highlight the positive and negative comments in different colours. I usually find that the positive ones outweigh the negative ones.

4: Assess what’s been said

I concentrate on the negative ones, because that’s the prose which needs work. However, beta readers and editors are only human, and as prone to see writing through their own lens. This means that, yes, they can be wrong. Learning which critique holds water and which won’t work for your story is a skill you develop with time.

5: Politely ask for clarification

Sometimes, I’m not completely sure what a comment means. If there is an on-going relationship, I’ll email and ask for clarification. No “I think your wrong” or “Your the worst editor ever”* but a polite enquiry. And I remember to thank them for their time.

If you can’t be nice simply because you’re dealing with another human being, then consider that editors have a long reach and you don’t want a reputation for being hard to work with.

*typo is purposeful

6: Ask a friend

If you’ve got a really bad critique, speak to a trusted friend and ask for their opinion. Always, always remember that you’re too close to your story. It’s a rare author who can be objective about their own work, especially in the early days of writing.

Vent offline. For the love of God, vent offline.

There you have it. Putting your work out in the world is difficult. Critique can definitely hurt, but learning how to deal with that is a vital part of becoming an author and having a long-term career.